On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
