When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
