Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
