Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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