What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
