he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
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get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize