remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
