I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
