belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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