She tied me up with her honor cords...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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