I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
