Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
