Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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