It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize