The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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