Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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