Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
