He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
