Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
