Are we in a gay sports bar?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She swung at the pinata with crutches
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
