do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
