best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
