I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
