More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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