She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
