I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
