i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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