So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
