white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We're too hungover to prance.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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