Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize