In the future we'll all be gay
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
third nipple confirmed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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