after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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