Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
