Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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