just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's a naked man in my car right now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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