Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
