So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
