aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
