Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
