Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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