we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
