well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just found out that she named her cat after me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
