I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
