508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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