did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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