How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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