I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
