"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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