if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
