Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
