sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.