why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
