Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
