Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
