I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize