dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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