They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
