sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
