sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
